What to write...what to write.

Well, lets see...for starters it's March already..holy crap! Where has this year gone already? But hey, that also means summer is going to be here shortly too. Nope..not spring..we don't do that here in Alaska. We just to Summer, Fall and Deep Winter. So, what all has happend in these last few months since i haven't updated. Well, I bought a few new things to add to my collection. Counted my clothes the other day and now i'm up to 20 things now that range from onesies, to shorts, to shortalls and playsuits and then a few pair of diaper covers/plastic pants. I think i'm up to 12 cloth diapers 5 training pants and I just ordered my first pair of cloth pull up diapers. It's kinda funny in my head how I've been buying stuff as I can, or my wife has bought for me. I can't even go spend $30 for a pair of pants at the store but damn if I don't go spend 40-50 bucks on a onesise or outfit from online. I guess I just realized that one is a speciality item, and the other is just a friggin pair of pants that can be had anywhere! where do I stand in my dad to day life with all of this. Well, everything is still the same really. I enjoy being able to be open as much as I can around my home, and when I'm out of my house I'm just a bit more discreet of course. I've realized that I don't care what others think of me anymore, but at the same time..i don't want to offend my friends, or have questioins raised that maybe I don't want to answer because of someone having a closed mind, so I at least dress appropriatly around them. So far only one of my close friends (well, one family, two people) here in Alaska know about it and they are completly supportive. I've written some stuff recently on my myspace page that is not aware of this side of me...as a sorta way for me to kinda express my feelings about having to kinda liead two lives and it supprised me the comments I got. One of my friends I've known since high school wrote me and commented that " it's ok ---, we all know you're a kid at heart~!" Which was just funny to me because she doesn't know about this side of me, and yet that is the first thing she said. Which leads me to wonder since several friends of mine past and present have mentioned how they like having me around because of the fact I can be so childlike, and yet still be an adult. Our friends now have commented to me, or to my wife they enjoy having me around because I'm just playful and play great with the kids. I think one of our friends mentioned to my wife one night as they were leaving that she liked it just how childlike I was...without being annoying like a kid of course! I do still wish I could just be more open in life about what I am, or such...but then I still am left with the problem of why? Why do I want to let other people know that I wear diapers or anything else. I think it's not so much of the "Hey! I wear diapers!" effect, but the fact that if I had to excuse myself to change a diaper, or someone noticed it or something I was wearing then it would just be no big deal. Instead I can be a bit nervous that someone will see what i'm wearing and think i'm sick or insane or something. Granted with me wearing cloth diapers now most people have no idea since they aren't used to seeing cloth diapers like I wear so that helps a bit, but just the same..some of our friends cloth diaper and they uses diapers like I wear for their kids so they would probably know better if they saw it. I'm just honestly so much happier like this...I wish I could be like this all the time. I've been wearing only my diapers now for the past week as I have been home off of work on vacation, but even before then...I've started wearing my diapers a majority of the time. Most of the time now I wear my diapers to work, and then come home and change around mid day into one of my training pants and my gym shorts so that when I goto the gym and change clothes that afternoon then nobody will see what's underneath. One day I even wore my diapers to the gym and it was nice. They were comfortable the whole time and when I went over to ride the bike for a bit it was nice having the extra cushion on my bottom. I wear my diapers and ussually something else amost all the time now no matter where i'm going. Friends houses, to the store..you name it. Figure most people don't know and if i'm going to somewhere where I might be showing more then I need to, I just wear one of my onesies with it and viola ....no diapers peeking out.

So on to the images..here is what I recently got and yes..I know I need to take some pics. Maybe I'll get around to that tomorrow since i need to work on my closets anyways (updating our bedroom closets a bit)

It's a new year!

Well, by no means is this site a year old, and I have a long way to go before it ever gets that far, but no doubt it will be here sooner then I would like to think. Not that it really matters as I'm pretty sure only about 2 people probably read this blog.

So lets see, it's been a quiet last few months for me as far as the babyish side of me goes. Nothing really to report. I haven't bought any new clothes or diapers for myself as it was time for both my sons birthdays, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas of course. It has though been a nice relaxing time home on vacation while the office is closed for the holidays. It's actually been an amazing time for me here. These last few months,...err...well...this last year from the Summer on has been one of the best moments in my life. I've made some amazing friends and we have all stayed friends and become much closer to each other. It was great to spend the holidays with them this year. You would think you could spend so much time with someone that you can't wait for them to leave, or that you just want time apart, but instead, I can't wait to see these friends of mine as soon as possible. They really have been come like family to me. I'm happy too cause most of them live near me, or are moving near by here very soon. I don't think these guys hear it enough from me, but I really love them all. These are some of the best friends, families and all, that I could have asked for and I look forward to spending the next year with them!


On the homefront here. Like I said, nothing really new to report. I've finally signed up for a one month time to an online site called Diaperedkitten.com. I've been kinda interested in knowing more about this person for quite sometime and figured what the hell and gave it a try. So far I have enjoyed talking to her and reading her blogs as well. I need to talk more to her hubby as well and get some more quality time with him. Seems like he is a great guy as well. For me, i've just enjoyed being me. I've also not enjoyed being me at the same time as I have realized I have put to much flab on my stomach and everywhere else on my body! So I need to work on that. It's weird I have found how comfortable I have become wearing my cloth diapers around all the time. Expecially now that I have been home on vacation. I've gotten so used to wearing them around everywhere I go now like it's just normal part of my life. I wish it was a normal part of my life as I find them just so much more comfortable and i feel so much more secure when in them. To bad life is filled with so many closed minded fools and people who seem to think what you wear that they can't see is there business! Oh well...I still find myself trying to be careful not to expose myself to my friends, even though I know some of them know about it and are accepting of it. I just feel it's underwear and no more then I probably don't want to see them with there pants sagging and boxers showing off, then they want to see me with my diapers sticking out, regardless if we have our kids running around in diapers all the time or not. I try to respect the feelings of others and not bother them with it, and of course, just try to protect myself as well. But just the same, it's been really nice to hang out with my guy friends and there families and just be totally relaxed about everything. Not really all that worried about someone finding out or being paranoid. Just the same..it's been really great when having the guys over for drinks and games and you watch as one after the other they "go make urine" as one of them puts it. While I...I just don't have to get up and worry about anything. I'll take care of it later on and nobody was ever the wiser.

Anyways, it's getting to be early in the AM and I need to go check on the wife and hit the sack. Hope everyone who reads this, expecially those that I know will...have a great new year, and thanks for everything you bring to me and my family! I may have had a great family before, but now...I have an amazing extended family to go along with that!

So i'm not dead...that's a plus!

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, not that i'm sure anyone reading this really cares and all?!?!? But i've just been super busy with work and home. On the upside I was promoted at work and that's a really big thing for me now.
Haven't really done anything new here on the home front. Christmas is right around the corner so mommy has told me to lay low on the spending for a bit so that we can buy presents for us and the boys...and of course so that there is anything left to buy me! I'm really bad about seeing what I want, and just getting it. So that makes it pretty hard on the wife to actually come up with christmas presents for me ya know!
Well, i'm going to keep this really short tonight. I'll update more tomorrow when I have time.

Peace!

Happy Halloween...late in the night!

Just a quick update tonight. It's halloween and that meant everyone was dressed up. It also meant that I too was dressed up for the first time ever in front of all my friends. I couldn't have done it without the support of my wife and a close friend of mine who's in the know. But yea, I dressed myself up in a thicker diaper tonight, and finally settled on my footed jammies due to the fact I didn't have any pants to go with my onesies and shirts :(. At one point...while I was getting dressed while my wife got the boys ready, I remember her asking how I was doing. Told her I was looking for something. She of course asked "what are you looking for?" and I replied back saying I was looking for my balls as I seemed to have lost them!

It's the idea that dressing up as a baby just isn't "manly!" for men. I mean, had I gone out as a fireman, or cop or something like that....I wouldn't have given it a second thought! But going out so exposed...knowing it's what I am...it made me realize how vunerable I really am. But that is where my wifes words, and the words of my friend came in and helped me find the courage to go out anyways with the families and trick or treat with our two little boys and all there kids. And ya know what? Not one thing was said by anyone...except the kids! The kids at least joked about me being a baby, but nothing else. It was fun...fun to be me and get away with it.

Afterwards we ran to the store to pick up the cake for my oldest sons 3 year birthday tomorrow morning, so walking around the local Fred Myers I got alot of strange looks, but no different then the looks given to the vampires, the guys in wigs and the girls in goth and so on. I even got more compliments from our cashier then either of my two boys did in there costumes. It was just fun for once.

So here are some photos I have taken in the past, and here recently...so enjoy if you want. If not..I don't care!

Here is a photo from early this year. In it I am wearing one of my older velcro style cloth diapers. Not nearly as comfortable as the ones I have now, but it was cute none the less.

Here we have my first of the new cloth diapers. My wife wanted me to "crawl around" so she could snap some photos since she thought they were to adorable.

Below are just shots of some of the other diapers I have picked up that are all I wear anymore.

Getting back to the grind....

So the class I was in is done and over with and i'm a better person now. Or so they say I am. I'm graduated and made Distinguished Graduate! Woo Hoo me right? It's honestly the hardest course I have ever taken. You just have to look at it as a mind game I feel like. It's really tough on you and takes up almost all of your time, but that is just the way it is.

So lets see now, getting back to what this blog is all about. So lets see, where to begin tonight. The wife and I have been going nuts recently with ordering clothes that we like. All sorts of cute outfits here and there. I so want to dress up for Halloween and just go around like that. I have never actually been "in character" around someone like that before and I think it would be scary as hell, and yet neat to do that on say halloween when no-one is the wiser.

Like my friends, I wish I could just be me all the time ya know...and not have to worry about anything...but i'm sure it would be awkward for both me and my friends if they were to walk on down here to my office / game room and see me siting on the couch dressed that way. So I am left with once a year...the chance to dress up. That of which I have never actually done! nope...I have never gone out and left myself that exposed before.

So here are a few images of the clothes we have recently bought. I don't have personal images of them yet, so these are just ripped from the person who made them, but I will get some photos up of them in the next day or two.

First off, is the most recent item we bought. Well, the wife bought this one...she feel in love with it and decided it was a must have!

It's a cute little snoopy onesie and I agree...it's probably a must have! :)

Next up is this long sleeve one that I came across and loved it. It's all white with camo trim and an airplane on the upper chest. It's got an airplane on it....i'm addicted already!


Below we have another one found by my wife...a cute shirt and short set that has little bumble bee like airplanes buzzing around on it, and one on the shorts as well. The shorts also have snaps in them as well.

This next outfit is one of my favorites because it is something I can wear all the time (well, at least the upper half! :) )and get away with it. The shorts are a corderoy material with three blue Winnie the Pooh bears on it.

And lastly was a interesting purchase I made as a supprise to my wife. I wanted to test the waters so to speak with this one. I know she has oohhh and awwwwddd at things like this all the time, and I don't know what it is about women and wanting to dress there husbands up in girlish clothes....so I figured I would endulge her with this one, and maybe myself too just to see how cute, or silly I could possibly look.

I know...Pink waterproof panties with frilly lace....but ehh...what can I say, I had to give it a try. It's kinda cute, and I admit I look silly....but no where near as silly, dumb or as awful as 99% of those pics I see out there of other guys wearing this stuff. Why is it that ever guy who tries to dress up like this think they have to go overkill on all the lace and crap? You just look bad personally.

Alright, I think thats enough for tonight. I'm off to go play some Guitar Hero World Tour now and get ready for another fun filled day of work! Anyone else want to go join me for a lovely day of working outside in 10 degree weather? It's fun..I promise! :P

It's hard to give up time, when you have none to give!

Just wanted to make another post before anyone thinks it's already dead! In fact it's not, but it's just hard for me to find the time to do much of anything right now. I'm currently attending a 5 week course related to my career and that zaps almost my entire day. This morning I was up at 5:30 so I could be in the class room to review some stuff by 6:15. By the time I left this afternoon at nearly 5 pm it's time for dinner with my family and then off to work on the next day's projects and what ever homework I was assigned over the last few days. Wow...homework....even two weeks into this course now I still can't get over saying that! It's been nearly 7 years since I last did any homework in college. Life is good though right now. It's no doubt fall outside right now. It's about 38 degrees at the moment and getting cooler every day. Probably have snow on the ground here soon enough which means we can expect to see in increase in the moose activity near the homes as they come out to munch on peoples pumkins.

In other news...I guess I could speak real quick on my diapers a bit. If anyone who reads this would like to ask some questions, then feel free to do so and I will answer them if I deem them appropriate.
But for now, here's a little taste of my life again.
I don't currently wear diapers 24/7. Given the choice I would in a heartbeat! I just feel so much more comfortable and happier in them. But due to my job, I don't always get that luxury. Sometimes I have worn my diapers to work before and it's fun...but that is only on what I consider to be "safe" days.
When I was younger..ya know...pre-teen and teenage years...I would buy baby diapers or get some from the kids I babysat and would tape them together into a larger diaper. Boy were those the days! (sarcasim) It wasn't until I got older and found out more about the adult diaper market and then started to go and buy attends and depends from the local and not so local pharmacy's. I guess back then I was happy with them, I mean hell...it went from taped baby diapers to one comfortable adult diaper. But they really did loose that appeal when they were green, yellow or white and had those stupid stripes that went down them. Of course over the years they started to make them less noisy and thinner, and when they finally introduced the cloth like covers..I wanted to puke! Those things sucked so bad! I personally hate them!
I guess i've been using disposables for the last decade or so up until about a year ago when I ordered my first cloth diaper off of a website online. It was from someone who made these really thick cloth diapers that velcroed shut. Talk about a piece of garbage! First washing it twisted and bunched internally and nearly tore itself apart. I finally cut it open to see how the hell she made the damn thing and found it was just batting in there! Garbage!
The next few that I bought were from a stay at home mom who made baby and a few adult diapers on the side on e bay. These were much better quality, but my problem with them was still the inside material. I don't know if she used cotton or hemp or what, but it got really hard and after a few washings, it started to rub my inner legs causing a rash to form. On top of that, these new ones were All in ones..which means they had a lining inside that prevented leakage (no plastic pants). Problem for me was that her lining was very thin and it would still leak which defeated the purpose for me.
As time went on we started to order more and more cloth diapers for our two sons after the second was born this time last year and I got more and more interested with those. Finally this summer I spent alot of time trying to find someone who could make cloth diapers like my boys, but in an adult size. I found one company and thought they looked really amazing. We ordered one of the pocket diapers to test it out and both the wife and I feel in love with it! We tested it out for a few days and found it to be spot on! I had never worn anything around my waist that was so comfortable and soft. Asorbency and protection almost didn't matter by that point! The next day, my wife ordered me an all in one style but kept that hidden from me until it arrived. Once it arrived though..she was very quick to see what I looked like in it and if I liked it. Needless to say it was just as amazing as the first, and within a few days I had ordered about 8 more of these diapers and another batch a few weeks later. I've still got a few cases of the disposables left, but I haven't touched them since I got the cloth diapers. For the first time in ages..I don't feel like a geriatric patient anymore and my wife loves "the new look!"

The begining is the end is the begining

Welcome to my first blog on here! You must feel so special! Woo Hoo right? No? Oh well...I tried. So here is the deal, this is my personal site and I plan to use it now to blog about myself (go figure...a blog on a blogging site! Who would have thought!) and what I do. Essentially this site will be a piggy back on my personal side, a side that most nobody sees, and will allow me another area to vent, relieve stress and talk about my "softer" side.

So what is my softer side you might ask? Well, hopefully if you are on this site, then you already know what it is and this isn't a shock to your system or anything! But I believe in regression and age play to sometimes unwind, relax and just have a good time. So what does this mean? It bluntly means that I have grown up my whole life enjoying the idea of being babied and nurtured at times. It means that I actually like the idea, and think there is nothing wrong with a 6' guy.... husband.... father to want to wear diapers, maybe dress in infantile clothes and play around like he's just another one of the munchkins in the house.

So does this make me a sick person? Am I weird or a freak or something for that? That's up to you to determine and for me to not give a damn anymore. I 've grown up and grown past those ideas now and realized that I am who I am, and if my wife, my close friends and anyone else who I decide to talk to about it can accept this, then I should be happy to have those close ties and just be who I am without worry as to whether or not someone out there has to have a closed mind or not. So if you think this is wierd, then it's time to click another link elsewhere and go on about your business cause there is no more reason for you to be here at this point.

Moving on now...let's dive a little into who I am. I am currently a 26 year old male who works a full time career working on networks. I am married and have been for nearly 6 years now and have two kids. One is about to be a year old, and the other 3 years old. Those three people are my life and I will protect them till the day I die. I currently live in Alaska and love it here. I couldn't have asked for a better home to raise my family in.

Alright...Meat and Potatoes time now right...why.....why do you do this? Why would any sane man who is potty trained want to wear diapers and act childish? Well, I would ask right back..why wouldn't you want to be able to have a swtich inside of you that allows you to act like a mature responsible adult one minute, and when you so decide, act like a less responsible child the next? That's the whole point..to loose yourself to the kid side and just let responsiblity, stress and adult problems go out the window for a little while.

How did I get into this though? I grew up this way. My parents divorced right after I was born and I grew up with my sister and my mom. I didn't have problems potty training and as far as I can remember, I have always been atracted to the thought of being back in diapers. It was a comfort blanket to me back as a kid. My parents would fight over the phone, my sister would bully me, my mom and I would fight and so many other things. In my head...the idea of being babied again was always so peaceful. To be able to go back to that time before everything started to get torn away from me was so ...so desirable even at the age of 5. As I got a little older I found out how strong that desire was when I would steal diapers from my baby cousin after she was born. I would watch as my aunt and uncle would dote on there little girl and provide her with so much love and attention. I was jealous of that, and had already at times wished they were my parents, and seeing this only made me want to swtich places with her even more.

When I got a little older, say pre-teens to early teens..I would babysit for some friends of ours who had a little 2 year old. I would take a diaper or two from him those evenings and put it on and then we would spend the rest of the night playing together. He loved it so much. I mean...how many baby-sitters do you know who will actually pay the kid attention instead of talking on the phone and watching TV all night along, leaveing the kid to there own devices? Around the age of 14 or so I started to find out online there was online communities devoted to this "fetish" as it was called. They refered to themselves as Adult babies and/or Diaper Lovers. This amazed me and excited me because up to that point, I thought I was the only one in the world who had these thoughts. So now it was really nice to find out there were thousands of people all over who had the same thoughts. Now granted these were mostly adults back then and everything was sexual in nature to them. But for me, it wasn't. I didn't see it as a fetish or even knew what the hell that meant back then. This was just a coping method for me to deal with stress or pain in my life. I figured it was better to do this then do drugs, steal from little ol ladies, or any other "bad" things in life that lots of kids do at that age to rebel. As I got a little bit older and could drive away from home, I learned I could find "adult Incontinence briefs" at local drug stores. Now I could never pick them up locally so this meant I would drive a city or two over to find some place where I figured nobody would know me so I could buy what I felt I needed. This was nice because I had gotten away from the diapers for a while seeing as how a 16 year old has a hard time fitting into a diaper designed for a 32lb 2 year old! These nice new large diapers did have a draw back though. They didn't have that babyish feel to them and that lost a good bit of the feeling in it for me. I learned to deal with that though and moved on with my life. When I moved off to college, I was finally free from my mother and could do what I felt was right. I could have privacy and no longer had to deal with being ashamed or ridiculed because my mother felt I was sick in the head. yep...she found out alright and she gave me the speach how I was messed up, and how everyone would hate me for it. But yea, college life helped alot. It's where I learned to be a bit more adventerous about my diapers and also a bit more open. I went from only wearing at night in my bed, to wearing diapers when ever I wanted. Sometimes that was to work, other times to class. I was always so afraid of getting caught, and soon started to learn this also excited me. Suddenly now my depresion to regression therapy was becoming a game to me. It's also when I really started to learn that this fetish now also had it's strong sexual implications with me. The thought of having a woman who understood how I felt, who would like to be babied as well and nurtured was very appealing to me. Also it was a thrill to me to have a lady who could take care of me and accept me for what I was. Most in the community refer to this as a "mommy/daddy" relationship. So this brings us up to meeting my wife. I met her online to discuss college and such and we were soon talking and then meeting each other and before long we had even gotten jobs together at a new store in town. Our relationship grew and we fell in love. I spent many a restless nights wanting to talk to her about this, and never knew a way to do that. I was so afraid of loosing her as my mother had always warned me I would. While out one night at the store with her, we made some jokes about the diapers and then came across the adult diapers. I made a crack about her needing them or us wearing them or something just to see her reaction, and instead of getting a mock laugh...she grabbed a bag and was ready to check out moments later. Me...who couldn't buy diapers without it being either out of town, or in town, late at night and only after scoping out the store for an hour, just got schooled by this girl who was so easily able to grab and buy without any fears. I was amazed to say the least!

Fast forward to today and here is what you got. We have clearly had two boys now, and she is fully aware of my babyish side. I have grown to accept the fact that I would much rather wear diapers then any other mens underwear any day of the week! I am 10x more comfortable that way and happier. I don't get that chance though, but I do what I can with what I got you could say. We have moved away from disposable diapers though as we have used cloth diapers with our boys. NO...not the old school prefolds and plastic pants, but new "pocket" and "All in Ones". I fell in love with these and went on a mission to find them in my size. I did finally find those a few months back and have now ordered several pair for myself. As well, I have started to buy babish clothes to include onesies, footed sleepers and jumpers. I have even "come out of the closet" so to speak to some very close friends of mine, and I was pleastly supprised to learn that they accepted me for who I was also. Apparently not everyone is scared of being open minded. This meant the world to me, because now it was like I found somoene else aside from me and my wife who could confirm who I was. They confirmed my beliefs that not everyone out there has to be a prick and can just accept you for who you are. I love my friends and family and the support they give me. It really does mean so much to me to have that from them.

So from this point forward, i'm going to use this blog to talk about my day to day troubles and pleasures. I will post pictures of my cloth diapers, of my outfits and just anything else i think is worthwhile. I hope you enjoy it and get a chance to see things from my side. Again, I can't make you like me, but I can only say...if you don't like me just because of this, then you have bigger problems to deal with, and don't need to be here wasting your time. If you are at the very least interested or what ever, then message me, email me, leave a comment and let me know how you feel. I'm using this blog as a chance for me to speak my mind, and I would like to hear back from you the reader as well.

Here are just a few shots of some of the cloth diapers I have. I think i'm up to 13 or so now, and plan to get more and more and more. :)